Don’t Worry. Be Happy.

Regardless of how much personal growth I’ve achieved in the last few years, I still have several flaws I can’t seem to shake.  One of them borders on obsession.

I worry.

A lot.

To be more accurate, I over-think things.  To the point where my mind spins in a whirling dervish of fantastical outcomes for even the simplest of situations.

I’ve exerted a herculean effort to change this small character flaw, but with little success.  Maybe I should have tried a Wonder Woman effort.

I relate better to Wonder Woman than Hercules. Maybe that's my problem...

I’ve tried turning things over to God.  I’ve tried talking out my concerns with a willing friend.  I’ve berated myself for letting my mind run away into a twisted labyrinth of obsessive-compulsive thinking.

Each works for a period of time and then I’m back where I started, worrying about something that I can’t control.

And there’s the rub.

I worry about that which I cannot control.

How lame is that?  There are probably a million other things I CAN control that would be worth worrying about…hold on while I make a list.

Sigh.

Instead of letting the outcome go, trusting in the universe to provide the right answer (even if it’s one I may not like), I try to run the show from the privacy of my brain.  It’s arrogant and self-defeating, but I find it difficult to stop.

In the last couple of days, I found myself mired in this flaw again.  I tried all of my three options, over and over again.  In this instance, a conversation with a friend provided the most help as she reminded me that the moment, the day, was more important than the future.  I knew where I stood in terms of the situation on that given day.  Trying to forecast the future was what was causing me mental distress.

I felt better after talking with that friend.  For a few hours, I was able to let things go and just trust that things would work out the way I hoped.  Later that evening, the hope became reality and I realized that my friend had been right all along.

I learned something from this most recent incident.  Worrying is counter-productive.  Forecasting the future is a waste of time.  Being happy in the moment is a better option.

At least I learn from my mistakes.  I should get points for that.

Today, I’m focused on letting go of worry.  And I’m not going to worry about my progress.  🙂

To truly get rid of this flaw, I think I’ll create a character in one of my books who worries so much she ends up turning into a wicked witch, hunched over under the weight of the world.

That oughta show me.

Do you have a character flaw that you’d love to lose?

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6 thoughts on “Don’t Worry. Be Happy.

  1. I’m with you on the worry, Hilary. If I could oust my self-doubts, I’d be much happier, but those pesky thoughts return day after day. Thankfully, I’m blessed with a supportive husband and awesome critique partners who support and encourage me. The encouragement of these loves ones and prayer are my biggest allies.

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  2. I’m a worrier too. (I’d rather be a warrior :)) When I was a kid, my parents predicted that I’d end up with an ulcer, which, thankfully, I have not…yet.

    I know you have the strength to conquer that worry!

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  3. Oh! I am a chronic worrier to the umpteenth degree, fretting mostly over things that I couldn’t possibly change. The best thing for me is to simply call myself out on it. If I catch myself falling into that spiral of worry, I simply tell myself to can it and busy myself with something productive. It rarely works…except for when it does 🙂

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