Regardless of how much personal growth I’ve achieved in the last few years, I still have several flaws I can’t seem to shake. One of them borders on obsession.
To be more accurate, I over-think things. To the point where my mind spins in a whirling dervish of fantastical outcomes for even the simplest of situations.
I’ve exerted a herculean effort to change this small character flaw, but with little success. Maybe I should have tried a Wonder Woman effort.
I’ve tried turning things over to God. I’ve tried talking out my concerns with a willing friend. I’ve berated myself for letting my mind run away into a twisted labyrinth of obsessive-compulsive thinking.
Each works for a period of time and then I’m back where I started, worrying about something that I can’t control.
And there’s the rub.
I worry about that which I cannot control.
How lame is that? There are probably a million other things I CAN control that would be worth worrying about…hold on while I make a list.
Instead of letting the outcome go, trusting in the universe to provide the right answer (even if it’s one I may not like), I try to run the show from the privacy of my brain. It’s arrogant and self-defeating, but I find it difficult to stop.
In the last couple of days, I found myself mired in this flaw again. I tried all of my three options, over and over again. In this instance, a conversation with a friend provided the most help as she reminded me that the moment, the day, was more important than the future. I knew where I stood in terms of the situation on that given day. Trying to forecast the future was what was causing me mental distress.
I felt better after talking with that friend. For a few hours, I was able to let things go and just trust that things would work out the way I hoped. Later that evening, the hope became reality and I realized that my friend had been right all along.
I learned something from this most recent incident. Worrying is counter-productive. Forecasting the future is a waste of time. Being happy in the moment is a better option.
At least I learn from my mistakes. I should get points for that.
Today, I’m focused on letting go of worry. And I’m not going to worry about my progress. 🙂
To truly get rid of this flaw, I think I’ll create a character in one of my books who worries so much she ends up turning into a wicked witch, hunched over under the weight of the world.
That oughta show me.
Do you have a character flaw that you’d love to lose?