While giving directions to a friend today, I included the information that a nearby landmark was a Dunkin’ Donuts. She and I both got hysterical, much to the confusion of our lunch partners. That’s when I realized I am never going to live down my habit of over-thinking.
A couple of years ago, we were celebrating this huge milestone at work. We’d completed construction of a new aircraft tower and a new runway and we were hosting this gigantic PR tour. A whole slew of us had volunteered to be tour guides and hostesses/hosts and whatnot. Somehow, I was selected to fill the volunteer coordinator position, meaning I was responsible for making sure all the volunteers did what they were supposed to do when they were supposed to do it.
Supervising. Nice work when you can get it.
I decided I would be this rock star supervisor and provide breakfast to all the volunteers. It was going to be a long day. Breakfast made sense.
And that’s when it all went horribly, terribly, wrong.
I obsessed over where to get breakfast. Once I decided to go to Dunkin’ Donuts, I obsessed over what to provide. Donuts? Bagels? Muffins? A combination of all or just one type of breakfast bread food? How many? What flavor? Who was going with me to pick it all up? What time to pick it all up? When should I call to place the order? I even obsessed over collecting the fee from everyone who wanted to eat (public program…everyone has to pay their own way, even on foodstuffs). And on and on and on… It was a continuous, vicious loop, cycling through my head.
This is the part I’ll never live down:
I did not keep that loop inside my head. If I had, it wouldn’t have been so bad. The day would have come and gone and no one would have been the wiser. But no!! That’s not how I roll. I dominated the conversation at lunch with my friends. I stopped by their offices or cubicles as the day wore on to throw ideas around. I didn’t let it go. No way. Uh uh. No how. If I was going to obsess, so was everyone around me. I knew I was over-thinking but couldn’t seem to stop. The part I didn’t realize was that I was annoying the crap out of my friends. This annoyance would plant itself like a seed in their brains. That seed grew into obsession radar that they now use against me. Don’t get me wrong. My friends still love me, buy they remain ever alert for me to over-think, or to “go Dunkin’ Donuts” on ’em.
I’ve been working on that obsession habit and I’m much better at not doing it these days. Two years of progress AND I coined a catchphrase. As long as I don’t over-think it…. 🙂
© Hilary Clark and “Pining for Poetry & Prose: Pursuing My Passion”